Cindarella Lou Gerth 1/27/99 - 04/23/11

I apologize for any typos. I just can't read this again right now to proof it again. I could not figure out how to put in YouTube video clips either :(
Sweet sweet Cinda, We miss you!

My precious little girl , Cinda went to meet Podley in Heaven today. Resting peacefully  on my lap and in my arms as I sat on our dining area floor, she was helped out of her suffering by Dr. Sloyer. As her three younger brothers romped outside in the wet grass and mud puddles, oblivious to their sissy's final journey, Bill and I said our  final "I love you".

Cinda and Sammy romp at the park just weeks before

As of last weekend the crazy girl was her usual self, running zoomies in the yard, wrestling with 1.5 year old Zeke and chasing her tail in the upstairs hallway where I think she thought she had a better chance of catching it.

But Monday on our daily walk, I noticed drool from the side of her mouth - something she never did. So I made an appointment with the vet for Tuesday at 4:30. A full exam, blood work and x-rays were done. Results were to be back Thursday. But when breakfast didn't stay down Wednesday morning, I notified the vet's office. That afternoon the vet called me and told me the x-rays showed a mass in her chest cavity. And it showed some muscle or something that should not have been able to be seen. I don't remember what anything was called but it boiled down to her esophagus was not closing. He said it could be Megaesophagus or the tumor or both. A sonogram would be needed to tell. The vet agreed to make an appointment for me which resulted in a 9:30 am appointment the next day (Thursday). Upon arriving home from work after receiving the call, I spoke with Bill and felt I needed to try to get her in that night. So we called and found we could come in after-hours emergency.

I loaded my sweet girl in the car for the ride to Veterinary Referral Center (VRC) and maybe an hour and half later pulled in the parking lot. As we entered they immediately took Cinda to the back to get her ready for when the sonogram vet returned from a doctor's appointment of his own. We knew when we called it could be quite a wait. Sitting in the waiting room, I filled our the forms and prayed for my little Cinda Lou.

One of the other vets came out and told me she had looked at her x-rays and explained them a bit more thoroughly. It was not looking good at all. The E word even came up, which I was not ready for - AT ALL!

Waiting was hard so I made a few phone calls to get friends' and other vets' advice. All agreed I was at the right place. But as I still waited, I thought she's along in the back scared just waiting too. Why the heck can't we be together. I jumped up and went inside and asked at the counter "Can she come be with me?".

After a phone call the back and a few minutes later they brought my girl back out to me. It was a beautiful evening so we went outside, up on the hill and watched the world go by. Well, let's say she sniffed the world go by. Sitting up straight, head high in the air, taking in all the new scents as I wrapped my arm around her. Just one, she's not the snuggley type.

Finally they came and got us; they were ready for the sonogram. After the results were in, the previous vet came out to give me the news. Mass was inoperable unless I wanted them to crack open her chest to get it and then there was very little or no chance it would even help the Megaesophagus that she had. So options were: 1-Surgery / not. 2-chemo / not effective on this type of cancer. 3-Euthanasia / not yet. 4-meds to help her for a while / OK. So she gave me some meds and instructions how to feed her the what little was left of her life. Meatballs, the size of a walnut made our of canned dog food, fed to her with her feet up on a counter and the staying in that position for ten minutes so the food 'falls' down far enough to not come back up. The same with water! Small portions, four to six times a day.

Ok, I can do this. "How long, a couple weeks?". I could see on her face that she confirmed with her words, "If you're lucky". Oh dear God. My naughty girl who had gone walks with me each day, and played like normal a few days prior only had days to live! Dear Lord! Not again!

They let me stay in the consulting room till I  composed myself. I braved coming out the the main waiting room and they were ready for me the 'check out'. After paying the bill, I patiently waited for them to bring my beautiful girl out to me so we could just go home and be together.

Her gorgeous long blonde hair had been shaved from her belly and I was thankful it was not too cold out side.  As we made the long drive home, she did not relax at all. Standing the entire way, she was not comfortable at all. Poor baby, what a evening for her.

The night was not much better. Coughing, gagging and throwing up what ever was left in her made for a long, and fitful night for all of us.

Thursday morning finally rolled around. Letting all the other 'kids' do their business, I saved Cinda for last. I let her out and quickly went back into the house to feed the others so she would not have to smell or watch something she could no longer enjoy.

As we walked through the back yard, I moved toward our woods and electric fence boundary. I told her, "it's OK, let's go play". I scrunched down and coaxed her to cross the forbidden line. Cinda hasn't worn her shock collar for the fence in years. She always respected the line. After a minute we walked over the line together. We hiked the whole way down to the orchard and around the back of our woods. Finding the perfect smelly spot, she rolled with not quite the gusto she usually would have, but she rolled just the same.

It was a short hike but it was a hike I will treasure forever. Now it was time to feed the hungry girl. The first attempt at this was a challenge. She fought me to keep her feet up on the counter. She was never a counter surfer - now I wished she had. When that was unsuccessful, we settled for eating in the gate-protected living room with her feet and elbows on the couch. The eating and drinking part were not to bad, but getting her to stay up afterward for 10-15 minutes after she was finished was a challenge. But, some how we managed. Her life depended on it.

When I could let her down and out of the room, the three boys scurried into the living room to see what they had missed. Cinda just got out of their way and laid down and rested on the cool kitchen floor. Some breakfast did came back up, but some actually stayed down.

Cinda and her friend Katie

But things sure changed with Cinda's long best buddy Katie came to say her good-bye later that morning. Katie and Cinda go back to Cinda's puppyhood and have always had a very special bond between them. I could get jealous, but I know dog's have so much love, there is enough for all who will accept it. They hugged and kissed and snuggled. I hated to interrupt. But it was time to see if Cinda needed to go out. The three of us went out side so Cinda could do her bizz. I walked toward the woods and asked if she wanted to go with me. She came right over. Again, after telling her it was ok, Katie, Cinda and I ventured on yet another hike in the woods. This time it was a bit shorter, but she seemed to be doing ok, willing to go and enjoying the time being free. She wandered around as if looking for the 'good' smelling spot.

Not wanting to push it, we came back in for another feeding with Katie's help. It seemed to go better once Katie assisted us. It seemed like she understood. As we did our 15 minutes of waiting after she ate, we just petted her, loved her, reminisced about her and cried.

That afternoon, after getting advice from anyone who would talk to me, I decided to take her swimming. Something she always loved to do and was so good at it. I called our friend Nancy to see if Cinda's friend Cashel or Gilly could go with us to the indoor pool in York. We had a date! 2 pm in York. I warned Nancy it could be a ten-minute swim, but I just wanted to give her the opportunity if she wanted to do it.

The whole ride over, I found out later, that Cashel was a saint. Nancy said he would usually just ask like a nut and cry and whine the whole way going anywhere. He did not. He and Cinda were both very good pups in my dog mobile.

As we arriving at the pool, the girl at the front counter looked familiar. Here it was the girl who checked us in so many times at another pool Cinda used to go to every week during previous summers. Another Cinda friend! She knew from when I called that this would be Cinda's last swim and came from behind the counter to give her a hug and kiss one last time. As Cinda kept pucking up water, she got us paper towels and told me not to worry about it. Just let her swim and enjoy her time.

She showed us to the pool area, which was entirely new to Cinda as she had never been there. She hesitated on the steps, but after Cashel figured out how to get in and out, Cinda soon followed. She did a few swims back and forth, gliding ever so gracefully as usual. But it wasn't long before  I could see it was time to go.

That evening was quiet around the house. After the feedings and going outs, we just wanted for  her to be able to rest comfortably.  One last feeding soon before bed, may have been a mistake. She had a rough night gagging, spitting up water, and hacking most of the night long. I felt terrible for her. Had I caused her more discomfort trying to give her a few more good times?

Cinda rolling - she always looked good in green:)

Finally Friday morning came and it started all over again. But today the walk in the woods was really short. My day was consumed with feeding and holding up for 20 minutes after and trying to find someone to come to the house to release her from her suffering. Every moment I worried about her comfort. I didn't want her to think she had to be with me so I tried to stay were ever she was. I also noticed a lump above her eye.

It was either Thurs or Fri, she had followed me to my office and I quickly closed the door to keep the boys out. She nestled under my desk on the soft bed and stayed with me. I never wanted this day to end. I laid on the floor beside her just inhaling her beautiful coat - even if the one side did have a bit of leftover smell to it.

Resting peacefully 

Finally hearing back from Dr Sloyer, he agreed he could come Saturday after his shift to help us. I was concerned she'd be suffering yet another night, as she had the previous night. But it was not the case. I did not feed her so close to bedtime and she slept peacefully through the night. I woke several times, wondering if she had left on her own.

Saturday am rolled around. The rain was coming down at potty time but I went out with her. If she was game for a walk in the woods, a little rain wasn't going to stop me today. But that was not to be. I walked out toward the woods and turned to look at her. She took a few steps toward me and stopped. I slowly took one step toward her to signal "you don't have to baby" and she turned to go back to the house. We had had our last hike.

The feeding was less, the interest was less, the lump on her eye had become so swollen, her eye was totally closed. My baby, what was happening to her. It was killing me seeing my girl who was her crazy boisterous self five days prior, just deteriorating before my eyes. Please God, I just wanted her to be comfortable until the doctor could come.

Dr S called and told us he was on his way. How horrible those minutes were, but she was ready. There was no getting any better. There would be no good days. We knew the time was right. We left the front door open so we could see Dr S through the storm door when he arrived. No need to ring the door bell and get all the others barking and excited. She was resting peacefully.

Too late. As Dr S came to the door, before we noticed, the boys saw him. Running to the door and barking their heads off got Cinda up and rallied to join in the excitement. Bill and I had agreed to let the boys out so it would be calm and quiet in the house for this, so once we could peal them off Dr S, we left them outside in the rain and mud. Who cared at this point. Cinda still seeking Dr S's attention had her nose buried between his legs as he scratched her ears. Tail was still wagging, but not quite like it was when he first arrived. As he could finally get past the entranceway and toward the dining area, Cinda plopped down on the floor, exhausted.

We looked at each other and we weren't going to make her move. I sat on the floor beside her, and respectfully giving her her space she had always wanted. Dr S put his black bag on the floor and opened it up.  As he was getting his things in order, he asked if he could get more of her 'arm' to work with. So I just scooped up her little butt and laid her on my lap with her head resting in the crook of my arm. And she stayed there - content. This is something she would never do. I wanted that moment to last forever. I just held her and kissed her, inhaled her and told her I loved her.

Dr S prepared her arm and told me what to expect and what may happen. I told her I was sorry but to go play with Pod and I'd be ok. Nestling my face in her soft golden feathers of her ears and neck, he have her the injection. She never moved. She stayed peacefully, sweetly quietly until he told us she was gone.

Thankful she was suffering no longer, I just held her closely as long as I could. I knew I had to let Dr S go, I looked up and told him I want her ashed - private cremation. I also asked if the boys should sniff her now that she was gone. Agreeing it would be a good idea, he prepared a sheet to enable me to carry her out to the patio to let them see her one last time. The boys had been digging in the mud and I didn't want them to get her all wet and muddy.All wrapped up in the sheet, allowing me some control of her limbs and head, I carried her to the picnic table and held her in my arms. Exposing her head and face, we called Sammy over to say good-bye. It wasn't what I expected as he sniffed her a bit but was more curious about the sheet. I realized the younger ones would be the same so we just let them go about their fun.

Wrapping her back up in the sheet, I got up to carry my girl to Dr S's car for him to take her body back to the animal hospital. As I struggled across the length of the patio, I was losing her. Bill stepped right in and carried her the rest of the way for me. I wanted to but she was just too unwrapped for me to keep her all in my arms. Bill laid her in the back of Dr S's car. I leaned in and kissed her one last time and said for the millionth time, I love you! I'm sorry! dear sweet precious girl.

Precious Moments

Precious Cinda

Spent a very beautiful day with my precious Cinda despite the grim diagnosis gotten last night at VRC in Malvern. Appears to be not much time left together so we made the most of it.




This morning, Cinda's bestest long-time friend Katie came over to visit with her one last time. We went for a brief hike in the woods behind the house - the same place our dogs are never allowed to go unless on special hikes in snow-covered terrain. Today, who cares! All the smells, Cinda was off on an adventure!


Katie then helped me feed her - paws up on couch and food held high for her to be able to swallow. Water, same way. Then staying in that position for 15 minutes was a lot easier with Katie's help. Cinda seemed more content eating that way ever since.

Resting together in my office - no boys allowed

After some resting in my office, precious precious quite time together,  we ventured off the the Pool in York for a short swim with Cinda's buddy, Cashel and mom, Nancy. The cool water and different steps were a challenge, but Cinda proved she's still as graceful as ever in the water. Gliding around to pool several times with greatest of ease. Such a beautiful image to remember forever.

Do I look sick to you?

Needless to say, Cinda was a bit pooped when she got home. With more tiny 'meals' throughout the day, she's resting peacefully, no gagging, coughing or pucking. You'd never know she is so gravely ill. 


I will continue to do whatever I can to keep her comfortable and promise not to be selfish when she tells me it is time. But as for now, as long as she is up for a walk around the yard or eager to eat the 'meatballs' she is now given, I will do my best to make her last days comfortable for her and memorable for me.

Grandma Gets First 'Kiss'

It was a usual visit to the local hospital, as usual as a pet visit in a hospital can be... Sammy spent the first twenty minutes or so visiting in the waiting room in the pediatric unit with the only child well enough to come out to visit. (Dogs are not allowed in rooms in this hospital). The little boy was not feeling well at all so the visit was quite short. Sammy played his piano, did his usual dance routine tricks. That wowed the parents and staff, but the little guy just was not in any mood to be entertained at all. Not what you'd call a memorable visit.

But the next forty minutes of our hour long visit, we in the waiting room on the third floor, where patients could come out of their rooms and visit with us. One gentleman patient, his daughter and four women patients ventured down the hallway to come see the furry friend. Again, the tricks, the pets, the stories of their dogs, their kids dogs brightened the afternoon. Each thanked us for coming, but as Sammy was working his way around to say his good-byes, one lady in particular expressed her thanks. She leaned forward to hug him good-bye and he gave her one small kiss on her cheek. She stated she truly enjoyed the visit and she's not even a dog person. She told me that she's a cat person and that THIS WAS THE CLOSEST SHE'D EVER BEEN TO A DOG! She had been bitten as a child and has never touched another dog. (except her son's three pound Yorkie mix). I was amazed. I'd never have guess. She was so good with Sammy and truly seemed to enjoy Sammy's presence as much as the others!

Just let it be known, this was Valentine's Day and Sammy gave this sweet little lady her first doggie kiss! My boy! ! !

He may be gone, but he's not forgotten

The other day, my friend told me to check out her blog to view her Tribute to Podley .


Then a day or two later, my Sammy, Max and Podley's breeder, Janet sent me an email from someone who had Pod's sister. She is in Vancouver Canada and was an assistance dog. But her disabled person could no longer care for her so she was placed with Lisa. Lisa did some research and found Janet and found the  Tarameg Goldens website and contacted Janet. Janet in turn forwarded the email on to me. In the email were pictures of Rowan, Pod's litter mate and Lisa's website.


After reading her email, viewing the pics and studying her website, I had to wait a couple days to contact her. The resemblance to Pod and descriptions of Rowan's disposition were too haunting for me to address immediately. When I finally had time to sob as I typed, I emailed Lisa explaining who I was, etc.


The email I got in return was just as touching as the first. She had been all over Tarameg's website and read about Pod. She was totally amazed that I had then contacted her and she then realized that Rowan was indeed Podley's litter mate. Lisa and I have a lot in common. Rowan is a therapy dog with Lisa. Lisa's quote at the end of her emails is the very same quote I had added to our KPETS t-shirts several years ago.
"Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole" - Roger Cargas.


It truly is a small world and isn't it amazing how these furry friends we care for and love can connect to others, even when they are watching us from heaven above!

In Memory of Sammy's friend John

Several years ago a co-worker's husband was eventually diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer after months of testing. Kathy told me at work one day that her husband, John's doctor had mentioned the fact that if John would like a dog, it could help him through this terrible journey they was about to face.

Kathy originally asked me to look for a dog for John that was similar to my golden, Cinda. John fell in love with Cinda when he met her when he came to our office to have lunch with Kathy several months earlier. Cinda was an assistance dog in training and went to work with me quite often. I started to pursue some options but as things go close to the possibly of my finding a pooch for her, she was having second thoughts. She didn't have to say much. I knew Kathy and dogs were not her thing. And the thought of having a puppy or a dog after John was gone was just too much for her to comprehend. I understood completely, as did John. John and Kathy were a beautiful admirable couple - wonderful examples of what a marriage should be.

Realizing a dog in John's life would be beneficial even if not living in his home with him, I offered him visits with  my other young golden, Sammy. I told him, he could come over and visit Sammy  at our home until Sammy got to know him or I could bring him to their home (if ok with Kathy). They bonded very quickly. I eventually offered them that if they would like to take Sammy home for an afternoon, I would be ok with that.

Well, that was the beginning of very beautiful relationship. Many weekend afternoons, I'd say good-bye to Sammy as John and Kathy would take him to their home. Sammy was there for various picnics with friends and family. They would give me pictures of my boy with John in his garden or just playing in the living room.

As months went by the inevitable became more obvious. Instead of taking Sammy themselves, they would just invite me to bring him over for shorter and shorter visits. John wanted so badly to get on the floor with Sammy, but that was no longer a possibility. Then on one visit, they gave me all the toys that  Sammy had accumulated  while spending time in his second home.  As I left that day, they thanked us. I knew that wold be our last visit with John.

Sadly, John did pass away. Kathy called me and asked that Sammy please be in receiving line with the family for the Visitation. I wasn't comfortable doing that but I would definitely bring him along.

When I arrived at the funeral home, the line of people waiting to pay their respects was as lined up outside and along the front of the parking lot. I put on Sammy's therapy dog vest and his black scarf and proceeded to the end of the line. As we waited in the parking lot line, folks would walk by and recognize Sammy. They would say "Oh, this must be Sammy. We've heard so much about him" or "Sammy was at the picnic we attended with John and Kathy". I was amazed at how many knew him or of him.

But the biggest surprise was yet to come. As Sammy and I approached the family, I could tell they saw us in advance. When it was our turn, Kathy and her two daughters shed a few tears as they hugged Sammy gently before moving on to the next visitor. We proceeded through the line to the table holding John's urn. First we passed the family photo of John, Kathy and his family.  Then was the urn containing John's remains. As we took our next step, I stopped and the tears just flowed and flowed. There on the table right next to John was a beautifully framed picture of John's buddy, Sammy.

I  thank the Lord, my God for my precious boy and that he was able to help one man travel through his final and most difficult journey.